how to OFFER a bribe

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Profile photo of steph-lowensztark

steph-lowensztark

said

While I will be continuing my corruption posts in the Police thread, not everyone looks in those forums. This post is on how to effectively offer a bribe as a perp.

Remember that bribing a cop is illegal, like all illegal activity it is most successful when it is subtle and not terribly public. A successful bribe takes into account the officer, the crime, and the surroundings.

First and foremost, does the officer have a reputation as being clean? some few of us do (kerri/me roxy, med). Its probably not a good idea to try to bribe one of the white knights. Fortunately most in the PD are open to bribes, so you should try with people you aren't sure about. In the interest of furthering corrupt rp, even the white knights are unlikely to try to bust you for offering. Also remember, any cop can clear out your citations icly... so you can always bribe someone to get rid of your ticket for you even if the person who wrote it is a white knight (not so for crimes, but for citations yes).

Secondly, what's your crime? success is likely inversely proportional to the seriousness of your crime. Offering an officer 50 bucks to get out of a 250 dollar ticket? probably that's going to work. offering the officer money to let you go for killing your roomate and wearing his skin like the guy from silence of the lambs? unlikely. As you first start trying these techniques, practice on your citations. This will also give you an idea of who is open to corruption rp and who is not.

Thirdly, who is around at the moment? If you and the officer are all by your lonesome, the chances are going WAY up. "hello officer, this don't mind the crowd, how would you like to reinforce negative stereotypes about your profession" is generally not a hot come on. Just make the offer somewhere between where you're being arrested/cited and the jail if you're headed there. If you are just being cited, tell the officer you have something you need to discuss about a criminal matter, and get them away from the crowd. ICLY, the cop is much more likely to be receptive to a bribe he can hide.

What should you say though?

I cannot stress this enough. if your RP to the point you've decided to offer a bribe consists of "fuck you pigs" you're not going to be successful. "i aint done nothin why don't you go find some real criminals" and the like... right out. Pretty much all of us will arrest you or cite you just to piss you off at that point. If you're interested in finding yourself a good dirty cop, swallow your impulse to go for the cliched police encounter rp posts.

Like any good flirtation, you should start off light. "i want to give you money so you will do something illegal" isnt seductive. it isn't sexy. its tawdry. its crass. work around the issue. "officer, surely there's some way we can work this out" isn't a bad start. For citations, there's a few things you can say "is there a discount if i pay right now officer?" is a pretty good one. You would be forgiven for genuinely thinking there's an early pay discount, after all. If the cop says "no" they aren't bribable probably... if they say yes, negotiations can begin. a variant on this is "how much is the spot fine" which is code in many countries for "how much can i bribe you with to make this go away"

IF you're being arrested, once you're out of hearing range of others icly, you might ask "isn't there a fine i can pay? i have somewhere i want to be and i want to avoid booking" again, position your offer as if you think you're offering something legal. Plausible deniability is a benefit to both parties in this bribe. You can pretend if confronted you weren't bribing someone. the cop can pretend not to understand you if they dont want to take a bribe... and if they do then great! you've succeeded.

Lastly, if the cop doesn't seem to be getting it, don't be afraid to jump in ims and ask "are you not picking up on the bribe because you don't take them, or am i being too subtle and you're missing it?" most of us will give you a straight answer.

Anyway, while this wasn't overly involved I hope it inspires some of you to get out there, and grease some palms.

(PS pagan is also a good target for bribes. you can icly clear out your "pending" charges if you get in with the DA. im sure similar techniques would work.)

February 3, 2015 at 2:32 pm
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