I was bored after Christmas festivities and decided to rewrite the poem.

I hope you enjoy. some of the rhymes don't work or are lame.

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Dead End
the only creatures were stirring were DEPD.
The gangs were all in having their fun
Now was the time for the cops to make a run.

The Hellcats were all passed out from drinking,
they have been partying since Sunday just drinking and fucking.
And Titi in her booty shorts, and I in my vest,
I had just taken some time to play with her breast.

The Cerebri in the sewers they were feasting
The Syndicate with Vance and Andi were sleeping
The Adherents performing a ritual foul
And Commedia Dell’Arte were stepping out with a howl.

When out on the street there arose such a clatter,
I stubbled from the Roughhouse to see what was the matter.
Out to the bikes crawled like a drunk,
I pulled myself up then leaned on a crotch rocket pile of junk.

The moon shone down on the grey colored snow
gave the reminder of she dreary streets below,
when, what to my bloodshot and dilated eyes should appear,
but a DE Police car, fuck i needed a beer.

With red head cop not so lively or quick,
I knew in a moment it’d be Shade da Mick.
More rapid than speed freaks the other cops they came,
and she whistled and shouted and called them by name:
"Now Tarra! Now Roxy!
Now, Vanora and Misha!
On, Barley!! On, Melissa!
On, Marty and Ming!
You to the seweres!!
You find Dion!
You to the Syndies!
And you get the Clowns!

Now dash away! Dash away!
Dash away all!"

As the tire squealed like a banshee,
so down the streets they flew like a fury,
with cars full of anger ready to use in a hurry.

And then, with a tromping of boots I heard on the ground
Shade and Vanora were coming around.
As I drew my knife and pulled my hammer,
I didn’t want the Pikey to take us ta the slammer..

Van was dressed all in her leather, from her head to her boot,
and Shade in her uniform all blackened like soot.
Two bundles of badass they were bringing to bear,
I was putting someone in the hospital this I swear!

Shade’s eyes--how they twinkled! She wanted a fight!
She came looking for me to do it up right!!
Her lips they curled into a smile.
and I smirked back, ‘It’s been a while.’
The stump of a cigar clenched tight in my teeth,
and the smoke it encircled my head like a wreath.
She shook her head ‘Dee your drunk and smelly,’
‘Well Shade your knee is as stable as jelly’

Van growled at me, she was a pissed off hot goth,
and I winked at her. ‘Van you black widow, do your worship Lloth?’
A wink of an eye she swung at my head
I ducking the swing, I laughed and I said ‘you’re fighting the Hellcat, soon you’’ be dead.’

Shade spoke not a word, but went straight to her work,
she swung at my kidney, and I fell with a jerk.
falling to a knee I swung out with fury,
the swing went wide and I hoped for a flurry.

They both sprang upon me, to my crew I did holler,
too bad they were all too wasted to bother..
While on the ground I heard Shade exclaim,
‘You’re under arrest, you should know tis ends the same.’

I was pushed in a cell wit Dion, Thumper, Bad Santa, and Cas
I sighed to myself ‘Cops, fuckin’ pain in the ass.’
The PD laughed and said as they moved out of sight,
‘Merry Christmas ya criminals now out with the light.’