I haven't kept a diary since I was little, and even then I had not written in it much. My childhood was common, met with happy moments and satisfied dreams. It didn't concern me to write anything down as I was happy. Remembering my past brings back fond memories yet nothing worth writing down.
How strange is it that now I've bought myself a silly book to keep my thoughts in check. There is so much stimulation in this dark city that I almost cannot control myself, every corner brings a new idea, every dark alley entices my senses that I can hardly bare it. Fearful that my plans will spill out onto the floor I've decided to take refuge with this tiny book. It isn't time to devolve my secrets, not yet.

Traveling to the city was easy, uneventful, yet my mind continued to stir. So many interpretations played out in my head when I found what I was searching for. I knew that the city was the kind of cesspool he would be wallowing in, without a doubt I knew I'd find him there. It wouldn't be hard I could feel him crawling all over my skin even though it had been years since I've seen him last.
Five years, it had gone by quickly in a blur but the thought of him every so often caught me daydreaming of when the moment would be right to see him again. It brought a large grin to my face and though I had to do what I did to protect him from death, I often fantasied of his eternal demise. Which is why I placed him where I had to for safe keeping. There was only one place I knew that was suitable enough for his own good, but also to keep my own mind satisfied at the thought of his pain and suffering.

While I closed the chapter of my life in Europe I made my way to this city. Dead End. What a perfectly applicable name for such a dismal decrepit metropolis of filth. The moment I stepped off the bus I could sense the dark deeds that lingered here. It was intoxicating, I simply couldn't wait to see what lurked in the shadows, what sort of leeches dwelled in such a somber place, and the gloom their lives were. Most importantly I couldn't contain the excitement I felt for what awaited me when I found him.
While I searched I wondered if he'd try to kill me, whether or not he would be dumbfounded that someone such as myself would even come searching for him alone. He had to have known that we would meet again someday soon, I hoped he'd recognize me. How could he forget my face? Surely he would be completely mad to forget, after all that I've done.
I wondered if he'd be happy, sad, or confused? To which I hoped he would be completely overloaded! I wanted to see so many things flash in his eyes, each step I took walking the streets of the city brought another thought, another curiosity. It made me grin like the mad hatter each step of the way.

To no surprise when I arrived at his door he wasn't expecting it. He was dazed, bewildered and as I made my way in without invitation he regained his composure demanded an explanation! This moment was the very same I fantised about as I made my journey here. I had played out every scenario possible over and over again however one thing always flashed in my mind brightly, the perfect thing to say against his demands. "There is no you without me. thats how it has always been, how it will always be."

The rest of the night was spent reminiscing about our past together, what a joyous reunion it was. I was glad to find his mind intact even after all he had been through. I was happy to see he was still very much mine, regardless of our distance. I was reminded of my arrival and the plans I had made for this city and though he was nothing without me I still needed him as well. I could use his establishment to my advantage, he had been living in the city for some time now and no one knew better of the streets than he I was certain. I had clued him in and he clung to what I had to say without much efforts. He had always been quite the listener. When it came to my ideas he was always eager to aid me in my endeavor, because he knew what it meant, he knew what it would entail and he was ready to dive right back into my schemes.
He and I have always had a mysterious connection since the very beginning, all those years ago every moment deliciously haunting me, and I knew they haunted him as well.
I trusted him, it was why I was here, I needed a good man, I needed him and now that I have him it all shall begin.

Dear Diary, you are the only thing that can comprehend all that is me. For you are me, aren't you? A pure version I suppose, my innocents from long ago. Its like I can start all over again, and watch the young me be consumed by the immoral ugliness of this world. Its exciting, I look forward to overcasting you with my shadow, and watching you be eaten alive by my repugnant mind. Fear not little book, I assure you you'll enjoy being devoured, I know I did so long ago.
Until the next time, enjoy the remainder of what you are.

D