The Bible of the Invisible Pink Unicorn

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shade-manx

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(( Written by hand in various pens, markers and crayons..the Bible of the Invisible Pink Unicorn is written in a bright pink leather journal with a black sketched anarchy symbol on the front.. Bean started to write it while waiting for something she was pirating off the internet to download.. Its been her ongoing time waster ever since.))

Genova Or How stuff happened.
In the beginning there was stuff.. But the stuff made no sense, so the Invisible Pink Unicorn decided that the stuff had to be better if it kind of made some sense.. So he conferred with his then friend the Flying Spaghetti Monster They talkithed and shot the shitith and soon came up with a plan.. They were going to make.. an amusement park. Then they realized that electricity wasnt invented yet so they had to scrap that one. Then they decided that some planets and just would be much better to use so they started to build that.. The Invisible Pink Unicorn in his wisdom started to make important stuff like sugar and beer, while the Giant Flying Spaghetti Monster decided to messeth with the people who were coming up next and decided to invent morality and Syphilis.. He also named it Syphilis because its fun to say.. As they worked together they started to realize that they had different ideals for their little project.. The Invisible Pink Unicorn wanted candy and sunshine and nookie while the Giant Flying Spaghetti Monster wanted his part of the universe to be filled with fear hate blue balls, you know the dark side. and as the first few humans started to walk off the assembly line the dueling gods started their battle.. The battle for the souls of the very humans they were mass producing, because. seriously, if you only start with two about four generations in you're gonna get a bunch of creepy fuckers by the time you're done.. The Invisible Pink Unicorn realized this.. All hail his greatness..

It all started in this finished part of the planet, because since the dual deities couldn't get along to save their lives they had do stop production of other things. He called it The Busch Gardens.. And it was good.. As the people Wandered Busch Gardens and started to enjoy their lives and their bodies the Giant Flying Spaghetti Monster was not happy.. He started to envy the humans and their not so noodley bodies.. And the way the Males of the species with their personal fun noodles that they used on the women and each other. They looked like they were having fun and the Giant Flying Spaghetti Monster was never a fan of the fun stuff, and in his jealous rage he decided that touching people with his noodley appendage would indeed be fun.. So he did.. In some countries they call that rape.. But this was before there was countries so there was no screaming RED LIGHT TOUCH!! And STRANGER DANGER!

The people of the planet were unable to defend themselves from the noodle faced rapist and were soon beside themselves with grief.. And sore butts because really, dude that much starch has got to make it hard to poop. They cried upon the Invisible Pink Unicorn to help, for the Invisible Pink one did not hear them because he was busy making some mountains and crap, but when he did.. I'll tellith thou what.. There was when hell of a throw down. There was rain for 40 days and 40 nights as the Invisible Pink Unicorn and the Giant Flying Spaghetti Monster threw down. It was all pow bang zong zang! And then when all was thought to be lost.. The Invisible Pink Unicorn was on the ropes, held down about to get touched by a starchy carb loaded appendage. His High Holy Pinkness of Invisibility seen the light.. His followers on the First of May threw off their starch ridden morality and started the festival of the First of May by getting their groove thangith on outside. There was much moaning and laughter and it brought joy to the Invisible Pink One! And from upon high he was able to get it on and straight up smack down his former partner in all things good and right, and Layith the Smack Downith On his Candy Ass!.. err.. Ith.... IF YAHHH SMELLLLLLL WHAT THE UNICORN IS COOKING! By the way.. Since it was raining for all that time The good believers of the Invisible Pink unicorn used floaties to get their outside groove thang on.. PRAISE BE THE FLOATIES!! FOR THEY ALLOW YOU TO FLOAT AND GROOVE!

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