The Investigation Into City Council Continues.
By: Staff Writer

As the federal and state government tries to make sense of the city’s book we are faced with a major crisis. The tax rate on everything has gone up, and now the council is trying to increase the fines that we pay for everything, including blue laws. These laws that have been in the books since the city was founded are to be enforced to the letter, but with a higher payment. The city wants the PD to enforce the following. Let’s hope that the DEPD has more sense than to actually listen.
Buggery or crimes against nature, (homosexuality) $3,000 dollars, no time
Prostitution: $1,500, no time
Working on the Sabbath. (Sundays) $500 No fine
No juggling without a license: $250 dollars
Juggling licenses are $300 and must be picked up at either the DEPD or the DE District court during normal business hours.
Women of uncertain Chasity must be off the streets by 9PM: $1,200 fine, no time
No home shall own more than two dildos at any time. $2,000 dollars, no time.
Oral sex of any kind is also included in the buggery laws.
No Mousetrap shall be set in a home or business without a small game license: $2,000 and the trap gets confiscated.
No business shall serve homosexuals alcohol. $250 fine
No cursing on a mini golf course: $800 fine
It is against the law to see a UFO. $5,000 fine
The only permissible sexual position is missionary-style. $3,000
The flooring of adult bookstores and video stores must be nonabsorbent and smooth textured. $1000
We hope this helps with the new push from the city council to get their payments back in order. Or, at least we hope that you realize that at least you still don’t need a permit to wipe your own ass.
((OOC Note, this is purely for fun, no cop shall be forced to Rp this weirdness, and citizens can say that it isn’t something they are interested in. For everyone else it is a new way to grab some fast RP, and deal with the fun of trying to come up with cash, and things like that… HAVE FUN! ))