#1
( written in a green cover, with sharpie drawings of a snail riding on the back of a turtle shooting a lady bug with a spear from its eyes to the evil frog riding on the back of a cobra, the frog is shooting spiders from its eyes.. she was bored, 5 subject notebook in a purple pen. the i's are dotted with a half assed spiral circle. and pretty much like rushed writing, sloppy.)

I've never really written anything like this ever.. mainly i dont have the time, or just flat out do not understand it. Seriously, writing down thoughts and feelings to something bothering you or how your day was, its not like anybody is going to read them. I know, i know.. then why the hell are you writing one? the fact is.. i dunno.. i just felt like writing and here we go...

thoughts... well. I moved back into Dead End today.. i never really moved away, but i needed to get away from the city. I hear stories and read in the paper about people being kidnapped, and not once did i ever think that it would happen to me.. but it did.. i dont want to go into details, for i dont want to think about it.. it happened.. yes.. but that dosnt mean i have to talk about it.

When i was released.. i couldnt go back to my friends.. those that i call family, i know that this wasnt fair for them. But, i also just couldnt go back crying like i wanted too.. i mean how can i face the people that i care so much about if i cannot keep things in my own mind together. Silly i know, "Luna you should have just came back we would have helped" I love my friends and i know they would have.. just some things i needed to take care of on my own.. it still bothers me, but i have to move on and will try and get my revenge when he least expects it. 🙂

I went back to Kentucky to visit my Aunt Flo and the family during this time.They were always supportive, though i never told them what happened.. but Aunt Flo.. is well.. special.. she knows when somethings up and demanded that she come with me to Dead End.. i think i talked her out of it for the time being.. really i do not want her here.. shes a holler rat and she wouldnt last in the city. Love her, but shes full of cows shit.. and trust me that is being nice.. that woman is fucking crazy, but shes my dads sister and i have to love her.

My oldest little brother Graham, named after our grandfather, hes 17 now.. Lord that youngin has grown up. Becoming a man, working on the farm like he owns the place. Everyone down here is proud of him. My 15 year old youngest brother Thomas is helping Aunt Dandelion's husband with the moonshine, since spring is coming and the leaves are starting to sprout, its best to get it out and work on the camo for the still. The police fly around alot and check, but most if you give them their cut they do not bother them.. but theres the occasional by the book rookie that tags along and they have problems. Thomas is learning well, and i could not be prouder of my brothers.. And as much as i hate to say it, i thank Uncle Clem for pushing us into leaving and me making the decision to send them to another family member to fight for custody. I dont give two shits about him, but they wouldnt be happy, and as grown up as they are without his "help"? not sure if thats the right word.. his.. nudging? no.. without him being him. there we go.

I dont get a chance often to talk about my family, i love them and just now realized how much i really miss by blood kin, but the distance and my job that i love at the Eights and the friends i've made, i honestly wouldnt consider moving back. I dont have a place here like i do there. I know i will always have the love of my blood kin, but i cant really talk about things with them like i could Mera, Lucas, Nick, Nex, and all the rest that i hold so close to me. Plus its hard to talk to Aunt Flo about city life.. she honestly dosnt understand.

Well, i am sitting here and thinking on what else to write about as i am sitting in my apartment... it seems like i am forgetting something, something seems missing in here. Something that i love as well, company.. companionship.. OMG where the fuck is my Puppy!!!