Written on a a black moleskine with black band rubber band around the leather cover. Kept in her secret safe in her flat.

Dear Aria [name given to some unknown person in her teens who Keela addresses to in her journals]

I went on a mad bender this weekend. Thinking about the random hauntingly beautiful man who I picked up at Lulu's few weeks ago triggered it. I still don't know his name or anything about him. He has a hold over me still -the way he broke me apart like a broken little doll- and left my place whilst I took a shower. I may have scrubbed of part of his marking he left on me, the bruises and his fluid that he put in all orifice of my body - yet he lingers in my mind.

I have been in Dead End a month. I can't exactly remember how I got here, it may have been my drug fueled binge that had me traveling across various landscape of Americana but somehow, I managed to stay in this city. I find the grittiness perfect for me; not to mention the drug business going rather well.. almost too well. There was that misunderstanding with Axl but I need to find him. For a drug dealer, he's very hard to track down. I may need to put a tracker on his cute butt or something.

I have a lot to say but my mind is racing. Have been up the last 48 hours or maybe even more. I don't know.. I have some good pot to settle me and wads of notes after doing some dealings in the Darkroom.

There have been few first.. first date. Yes.. a first date. I have never been on one before because of what happened when I was 18 years old but it sort of just happened. The date failed miserably, Eddie ended up getting arrested because he wouldn't give the officer his name. I had an anxiety attack. I ran into Eddie last night after he disappeared, we just chatted but he went off shortly after few drinks. I am sort of seeing someone, Sporto.. or I think I am. I haven't been with anyone since him which is weird for me. I haven't even felt the urge to, he's on my mind a lot. I know he's good for me, I can just tell. H might not like this - we always had something unspoken - but I would mess his life up and he knows this. He came to see me after I got assulted twice but then he left again. Why do people always leave me?

I met few people in Dead End, Rhi, Scotty, Shay, Dee, Oh! I even met a HRH, a princess! But I haven't seen her since that night at Lulu's. The chica was drinking Cristal. One day I am going to be drinking that too. Or Nia, come to think of it, the girl who sold me the bag of yayo one of my first nights here. I don't know if I can say all are friends as I have problems forming attachments but it's been a great ride thus far. God I fucking love this place!