I have a confession. I seem to have lost my drive to role play and I'm not sure where it went. This isn't to say I don't enjoy working the sim and that I am stressed or overbooked, because none of the above is true - when I am on, I enjoy doing what needs to be done. The new staff has made it LOADS easier on me. I have found that I simply sit online however, and choose to remain OOC. Helping, setting up, etc. I spend my time making sure everyone else is enjoying RP and leave myself out of it. This entire year I've only actually RP'd about a handful of times so I'm sure new players don't even know how I RP. I don't have any plans to leave, I enjoy being Admin and all of the work I along with everyone else puts into the sim so don't worry. This has nothing to do with that. This is purely about actually posting and in character.

I think I'm just bored of the same old IC stuff, day in and day out. Booze this, tattoo that. There are the occasional break-ins and etc. I enjoy, but it's a temporary, one day thing. I have been RPing in Dead End for more than four years now and not a single player has cracked my characters backstory. I don't find myself involved in any long term plot. Not to say I haven't tried, I guess my character is just... difficult? I gave in about two years ago and dimmed down the way I play and how my character works and it has't seemed to help, lawl. I don't want to break character entirely and have him start doing things that are uncharacteristic though... my limits are very slim so that's not really an issue. There was a period in the sim for a bit where everything was rather lighthearted and humorous, and that unfortunately is not fun for me. I don't mind it here or there, but I like the dark, twisted, angsty, sexual parts of RP. I don't like playing humiliation or 'joke' stuff. Maybe that drove me away.

I've even debated starting a new character but I'm really attached to Kyo... I played him from before SL even so he's got years and years of backstory and planning all meticulously put into him so I'm fairly attached. I had a secret alt (GASP..!!) for a while and just could't get into another character.

I guess what I'm saying is this is a post giving permission to fuck with me? xD I mean I'm an Innocent so that part is sort of a given... but I want long term. I want something interesting to make me want to keep posting every day. I want people to want to put effort into the lengthy details about WHY Kyo is who he is. Literally everything about him, from eye/hair color down to mannerisms and tattoos have meaning in his storyline.

Is there anything you WANTED to see out of me as a role player? Places where I've let you down?

I know part of the reason for my lack of RP has been my recent move and all of the cons/traveling I've been doing, but that usually is only one or two weekends out of a month and I've been using it as an excuse not to RP 'cause I can't find my motivation to actually post.

Anyway, I guess I'm just asking for imput. Ideas perhaps how to get myself involved with the IC community again. I know and adore all of you OOC but get very little interaction in character ever.

And no, you can't know who my ALT is. (It's all of you, duh). >3