Ok, so we had an interesting discussion in OOC tonight and I spoke with Shade about posting this here and getting some feedback. Being a rapist lurker in DE is so difficult that we even discussed in OOC the possibility of having some sort of "Stop scaring off the Lurkers" class lol. But I thought, as a Lurker, I would post my experiences here so hopefully those who have never lurked can understand why the lurkers aren't sticking around. And hopefully we can get some good suggestions rolling for how lurker's can handle the situations and still enjoy rp.
Of course we all know there are a few people who come in and grab the lurker tag and want action without really following through with storylines...those people aren't all that fun to play with and aren't the kind of people that I'm talking about in this post. The lurkers I'm talking about are the type of lurker I try to play...who genuinely gets involved with storylines. I'm not sure if this is a really rare thing or what, but it attracts drama like a magnet and makes it very difficult to play. I think the best thing I can do is just to lay out OOC journey here. Please know, this isn't a post to try to say I'm popular, so don't think the story below is bragging...I just think playing a guy in DE who isn't married or committed to someone attracts a lot of attention, no matter who you are....and I also think that's why a lot of our lurkers DO end up committing to someone...because it's just a LOT less drama.
So I've only been back for ...I think less than a month. As I shared in a previous post, a lot of issues come along with OOC jealousy. Please, if you're in some kind of relationship where OOC jealousy is involved, take care of your issues before you rp with someone else. It's very intimidating to be new and have someone barking in your IM because they rp'd with you.
The biggest issue, though, for the lack of a better term...is supply in demand. There are a lot of innocents who enjoy some rough up. Someone who likes to rp with a variety people can very quickly make a few fans. I also call these people my friends OOCly because I've gotten to know them. This is the part that's kind of hard to type because it feels like bragging, but I think you all need to know what it's like....As soon as I log in, I usually have a few offlines to read and while I'm reading them I might receive IMs from 4 or so people asking me to come rp. Now, I am one person...I try when I can to make situations where all of us can rp together in some public spot...but most times, because of storylines, I'm obviously not able to do that. So that leaves me to make a choice. I try to be fair. I also have storylines that feel more pressing for my character than others at any given time, and to be honest, I'm in DE for my OWN enjoyment foremost, though I do like making others enjoy their time.
The problem isn't that people ask. I definitely don't want people to stop asking me to rp with them, by all means, ask...but the problem is that people get upset and take it personally when I can't rp with them that day or if I've created a storyline that doesn't involve them. I also enjoy some long term storylines. For example, I might work for days trying to ICly get someone in particular....my CHARACTER is focused on that person, so it doesn't make sense for him to suddenly just not care and go do something else. I might have someone trapped in my house and we all know it's no fun being captured and not get rp...so I do feel more obligated to rp with the captured person. As I said, please don't stop asking me to rp....but please stop taking it personally when I can't....you all are my friends ooc, and I hate feeling like I'm hurting people's feelings. I want us all to enjoy our time together whether we're rp'ing, having a chat in IM or talking in OOC. There are additional people that have asked me to rp that I would really like to rp with...I have finally just tried to explain that hopefully some day we can, but for now I have too many stories going to keep everyone happy as it is, and this also seems to OOCly hurt people's feelings....It would just be a lot easier if everyone could take it upon themselves to have a few people they enjoy rp'ing with...so that when someone says they're unable to rp you can simply say "alright" and go enjoy something else that evening.
This isn't so much a "complaint" as it's simply trying to explain how difficult the role of a lurker is in DE and how the culture needs to change a little bit. For some reason, it's become some sort of an OOC competition to see who can nail a person down instead of just having fun and letting things happen.
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